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Silky Johnson



Joined: 29 Sep 2014
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PostPosted: 09/17/20 11:51 am    ::: So... Yeah... Reply Reply with quote

I realize that I'm probably not going to get nearly as much traction here, as if I tried to shoehorn this into the ongoing WNBA topic, but I am nonetheless posting this here, because it's not actually WNBA-related, and I don't really want to make this about the person who inspired the question:

So, listen, we're all adults here, right? We're allowed to talk about adult stuff here, right? It's fucking weird that two people who were very likely both virgins, into their thirties (one damned near forty) married each other, right?


EDIT - Apologies in advance, if this question seems offensive/non-inclusive to asexual and/or aromantic people. No apologies if this question offends religious people.



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johnjohnW



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 12:30 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

Well, I don't think so. Uncommon, yes but wouldn't classify it as weird. My best friend is pretty religious and remained a virgin until he was married. I don't know about his wife. They were in their thirties.

Both of these people have pretty unique journeys to this point. It makes sense when you consider how long he was imprisoned and her religious values. Good for them.


Silky Johnson



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 12:55 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

Okay, but what if they're sexually incompatible? Again, not to exclude asexual/aromantic people, but that's actually a thing. If you wait until you're in your thirties to have sex, and you marry somebody who's almost forty, and has also never had sex, and then you consummate the marriage, and you find out the hard way that you're sexually incompatible, and your faith compels you to believe that marriage is forever... then what? What if one of you is bad in bed? What if, after consummating the marriage, you find out that one of you likes and wants sex way, way more than the other likes, and is willing to have sex? Because that's something that you can talk about, before you get married, but how much you enjoy sex is not something that you can know about yourself until after you've had sex.

And I'm not going to sit here and act like sex is the most important thing in an adult relationship... but it's not unimportant.



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mercfan3



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 4:11 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

Silky Johnson wrote:
Okay, but what if they're sexually incompatible? Again, not to exclude asexual/aromantic people, but that's actually a thing. If you wait until you're in your thirties to have sex, and you marry somebody who's almost forty, and has also never had sex, and then you consummate the marriage, and you find out the hard way that you're sexually incompatible, and your faith compels you to believe that marriage is forever... then what? What if one of you is bad in bed? What if, after consummating the marriage, you find out that one of you likes and wants sex way, way more than the other likes, and is willing to have sex? Because that's something that you can talk about, before you get married, but how much you enjoy sex is not something that you can know about yourself until after you've had sex.

And I'm not going to sit here and act like sex is the most important thing in an adult relationship... but it's not unimportant.


1. I would say, given the lack of experience, that they are both probably bad in bed (right now, at least) Laughing

2. Virgins getting married used to be the norm. Yes, the ages are a little outside of the norm..but for Maya, that's a reflection of modern times (women get married later in life..after college and accomplishing career goals), and obviously his circumstances would lead him to a lack of experience.



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stever



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 5:22 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

According to this article:
www.christianpost.com/news/christian-wnba-star-maya-moore-marries-man-whom-she-helped-get-released-from-prison.html

...Maya and her mother are(were?)members of this mega-church in Atlanta:
www.worldchangers.org/

"Rev." Creflo Dollar, who runs this church with his wife, has a net worth of 27 million...

...if the good reverend's name is familiar, he's the guy that wanted his churchgoers to buy him a 65 million dollar Gulfstrfeam jet in 2016:

www.huffpost.com/entry/the-biggest-scam-of-all-p_b_7521170

In 2012, Dollar was arrested on a domestic violence charge involving his then 15 year old daughter:

www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2012/06/09/televangelist-creflo-dollar-arrested

I wish Maya all the best, but her chosen "pastor" stinks to high heaven.



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 5:53 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

stever wrote:
According to this article:
www.christianpost.com/news/christian-wnba-star-maya-moore-marries-man-whom-she-helped-get-released-from-prison.html

...Maya and her mother are(were?)members of this mega-church in Atlanta:
www.worldchangers.org/

"Rev." Creflo Dollar, who runs this church with his wife, has a net worth of 27 million...

...if the good reverend's name is familiar, he's the guy that wanted his churchgoers to buy him a 65 million dollar Gulfstrfeam jet in 2016:

www.huffpost.com/entry/the-biggest-scam-of-all-p_b_7521170

In 2012, Dollar was arrested on a domestic violence charge involving his then 15 year old daughter:

www.thedailybeast.com/cheats/2012/06/09/televangelist-creflo-dollar-arrested

I wish Maya all the best, but her chosen "pastor" stinks to high heaven.


He's the one who got exposed for the fraud and crook that he is on John Oliver's show too, right?
Silky Johnson



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 7:18 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

mercfan3 wrote:
2. Virgins getting married used to be the norm.


I understand that virgins getting married used to be the norm. It also used to be the norm that women were raised to believe that sex was only for procreation, and that they weren't supposed to enjoy it. One would like to think that we'd put both practices in our rear-view mirror.


Quote:
Yes, the ages are a little outside of the norm..but for Maya, that's a reflection of modern times (women get married later in life..after college and accomplishing career goals)


Getting married at thirty-one is soooo not the reason it's weird. Objectively speaking, if everybody waited until they were at least in their thirties to get married, the divorce rate would be a lot lower.



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pilight



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PostPosted: 09/17/20 10:39 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

I find it odd that a college educated professional like Moore would fall for a drug dealiing high school dropout who's spent his entire adult life in prison.



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FrozenLVFan



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PostPosted: 09/18/20 12:44 am    ::: Reply Reply with quote

Silky Johnson wrote:
Okay, but what if they're sexually incompatible? Again, not to exclude asexual/aromantic people, but that's actually a thing. If you wait until you're in your thirties to have sex, and you marry somebody who's almost forty, and has also never had sex, and then you consummate the marriage, and you find out the hard way that you're sexually incompatible, and your faith compels you to believe that marriage is forever... then what? What if one of you is bad in bed? What if, after consummating the marriage, you find out that one of you likes and wants sex way, way more than the other likes, and is willing to have sex? Because that's something that you can talk about, before you get married, but how much you enjoy sex is not something that you can know about yourself until after you've had sex.

And I'm not going to sit here and act like sex is the most important thing in an adult relationship... but it's not unimportant.


People get married all the time without realizing that they are incompatible in some important aspect of their lives...management of finances is a often a big issue. And it's surprising how many haven't really sorted out if or when or how many children they want. Immature partners have an especially tough time working through their differences.

Hopefully these two are grounded enough so they can work out any issue. I wouldn't be surprised if monetary considerations are as problematic as potential sexual issues.


gpark33



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PostPosted: 09/18/20 9:52 am    ::: Reply Reply with quote

If they both know their own bodies, they'll be able to help each other learn what they like and don't like sexually. Very few women actually enjoy traditional sex with men so sexual incompatibility (outside of asexual situations) means someone is too lazy to do the work to learn their partner and take the steps to please them. If they really want to be together and have a healthy sexual relationship, they'll find ways to enjoy sex together.

And if they do not really know their own bodies, they have the opportunity to learn together.



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tfan



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PostPosted: 09/21/20 9:01 pm    ::: Reply Reply with quote

I don't know the rules regarding "saving myself for marriage". If just intercourse out of the picture they could still have gotten each other off and done all the "good in bed" stuff. But maybe that is off the table too.

I heard a woman advocate once for no kissing or even hand holding for the first year or two years of a relationship. Her point was that anything physical distracts from whether the couple actually are really compatible and prevents relationships from starting that will flounder as soon as the physical intimacy declines. The counterpoint would be that men and women are different enough that without intimacy it might be impossible to get everyone matched up.

The conviction was overturned in March, so they got married fast. Most people wouldn't even be engaged yet.

This article says with regard to time to engagement (and the average engagement lasts 15 months):



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