RebKell's Junkie Boards
Board Junkies Forums
 
Log in Register FAQ Memberlist Search RebKell's Junkie Boards Forum Index

dog and cat diaries

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    RebKell's Junkie Boards Forum Index » Area 51
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
sambista



Joined: 25 Sep 2004
Posts: 16951
Location: way station of life


Back to top
PostPosted: 03/28/05 7:41 am    ::: dog and cat diaries Reply Reply with quote

this is making the mail rounds. if you haven't seen it, it's hilarious . . .



EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!




EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal......... The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet
while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self:

I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll
take them to find it?

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Damn! Not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must learn what the Hell this is and
how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a
matter of time... the son of a bitch...



_________________
no justice, no peace.
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    RebKell's Junkie Boards Forum Index » Area 51 All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB 2.0.17 © 2001- 2004 phpBB Group
phpBB Template by Vjacheslav Trushkin