this is making the mail rounds. if you haven't seen it, it's hilarious . . .
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal......... The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet
while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
bastards, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self:
I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll
take them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Damn! Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must learn what the Hell this is and
how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He
must obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement
in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a
matter of time... the son of a bitch...
_________________
no justice, no peace.